the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
