If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Randomize
