gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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