I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
