You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Randomize
