I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
