There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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