Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
