just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
