We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
