in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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