Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
