i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
