Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
