woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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