Kiss
Puke
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
