Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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