the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
