She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
