What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
