How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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