I CAN MOONWALK!
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
