Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
