I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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