i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
