I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
