WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
