I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
