I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
