There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
