Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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