I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
