I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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