Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
