The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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