What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
