you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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