oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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