I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
