Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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