You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
