Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
