This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
