Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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