I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
