She's JV to your varsity
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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