im six kinds of drunk right now
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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