If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
