I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
