Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
