I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
