Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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